


The Battle Of The Proudmoore's Front Lawn

by AlexIsOkay



Series: 13 Days of Halloween 2018 [11]
Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 20:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16456568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsOkay/pseuds/AlexIsOkay
Summary: Jaina is the valedictorian. Sylvanas is a goth kid. Their feud has gone on long enough.Day 11 of 13 Days of Halloween, for the prompt Tricks. The full prompt list can be found here: https://alex-is-a-writer.tumblr.com/post/178902004385/i-absolutely-love-halloween-so-i-thought-it-would





	The Battle Of The Proudmoore's Front Lawn

“Alright,” barked Sylvanas Windrunner, resident goth bitch of Azeroth High School. “Did everyone bring the supplies I requested?”

“No, milady,” replied Nathanos Blightcaller, clad in his Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt and black skinny jeans. “The enormous trash bag you see me carrying is a mere coincidence. Our entire reason for meeting here and my role in your revenge plot completely slipped my mind.”

“Silence, Nathanos,” Sylvanas chided. “What of you, Lor’themar?”

“I have six dozen eggs, just as requested,” replied Lor’themar Theron, Regent Lord of the High School Theater Department. “Three weeks rotten. Though I must say, the smell is positively repulsive. Be careful with those.”

“Remind me how I got talked into this?” grumbled Varok Saurfang, captain of the Azeroth High Raiders football team.

“Silence!” Sylvanas repeated. “As soon as we leave our cover it is vital we remain quiet, least we give away our position. Are there any lingering questions about the operation before we begin?”

“Yes,” Saurfang replied. “Why?”

“Because your queen commands it,” Sylvanas answered. Saurfang didn’t have the energy to ask what that meant. “Now, on my mark: move!” With that command the four teenagers darted out from behind the bushes they had been using for cover and onto the dimly lit Theramore Drive, hastily making their way towards their destination. They didn’t have to travel far before Sylvanas laid eyes on her true target: the Proudmoore residence. For too long that preppy valedictorian bitch had roamed through the halls of their school with her head held high, looking down on all those she deemed as beneath her. The mere thought of her smug looks and her good grades and her perfect hair and her flawless skin and her beautiful face made Sylvanas seethe with rage. Tonight, at long last, she was going to get her revenge.

“Now,” Sylvanas said as they rushed off the street, and onto the lawn of the Proudmoore’s house, “assume your attack positions. Saurfang! With your powerful throwing arm, you will be in charge of toilet paper. The rest of us will unleash hell with the eggs! Go!”

“I’ll still never understand why Vol’jin vouches for you,” Saurfang groaned. He did still end up reaching into Nathanos’s bag, though, reluctant as he may have been, beginning to hurl rolls of toilet paper over the roof and trees. The remaining three started grabbing as many eggs as they could from Lor’themar’s stash, hurling them against the walls of the house.

“Good!” Sylvanas said, watching as shell after shell cracked against the wooden exterior, splattering the walls with rotten whites and yolks. “Cover the entire structure! Let her be haunted by the malodorous stench for weeks to come! Leave no surface un-egged! Then that uppity honor roll bitch will finally know our true wrath!”

“Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but wasn’t this meant to be a stealth mission?” Lor’themar chimed in. “With the way you’re shouting over there, I would almost think you want to be caught.” Immediately Sylvanas’s eyes narrowed, and she took a brief respite from hurling eggs to glare at her compatriot.

“And just _what_ would you happen to be implying, Lor’themar?” she demanded.

“Nothing,” Lor’themar replied, though his smile implied that was anything but true. Sylvanas likely would have continued grilling him further, had she not been interrupted by Saurfang just a moment later.

“I’m done,” he said. “Can I go now?” Looking back over her shoulder Sylvanas realized that Saurfang had, in fact, unloaded four dozen rolls of toilet paper in under two minutes, all of which were now strewn across the Proudmoore’s property. Unfortunately, she wasn’t going to let her recruit off the hook that easily.

“Not yet,” she commanded. “Grab eggs and start throwing! We still have more damage to do!”

“Yeah, screw this,” Saurfang grumbled, waving a hand dismissively. “I could be at Thrall’s party right now. I’m leaving.”

“You would be a deserter and a traitor?” Sylvanas spat back. “I have no tolerance for those who lack loyalty!”

“I can deal with that,” Saurfang replied, already walking away across the lawn. Just as he was about to make it to the street, though, a crack rang out through the air, and an egg splattered across the back of his head. Saurfang froze in place for a moment, before slowly turning around to face Sylvanas, almost looking to be in disbelief. “Did you really just-” he started to say, before he was cut off by another egg smashing into his face.

“Nathanos! Lor’themar!” Sylvanas shouted. “Change targets! Turn your eggs against this worthless cur!”

“I have a feeling we’re going to regret this,” Lor’themar sighed, reaching into one of the cartons.

“Your hesitation will be noted,” Nathanos replied. In the chaos that was ensuing, none of the four even noticed a light turning on in the upper story window of the house. From within, two figures looked out.

“My god,” said Anduin Wrynn, Student Council President of Azeroth High. “She’s… She’s egging her own men.”

“Come with me,” Jaina replied, turning and starting to stroll from the window. “We’ll deal with her.” Meanwhile, back outside, the carnage continued.

“You have no honor!” Saurfang shouted, shells and yolks continuing to rain down on his face and arms as he tried to shield himself.

“Honor means nothing to a LITTLE BITCH, Saurfang!” Sylvanas shouted back. “Flee! Turn tail and run, back to you coward’s party! I have no need for you here!” She continued hurling eggs as Saurfang fled out into the street, watching his retreat until he was out of her throwing range. At that point, satisfied with her results, she turned her attention back to the original task. “Now,” she said, “we still-”

“GET OFF MY LAWN!” And then, immediately after hearing that, Sylvanas was blasted with a column of ice cold water. She just barely had time to look in the direction of the noise before the onslaught hit her, and to see Jaina standing there, holding a garden hose turned up full throttle, with Anduin by her side.

“My lady!” Nathanos called out, holding up his arms to protect his gelled hair and perfect eyeliner from the spray. “We’re outgunned! We must retreat!”

“This top is pure silk!” Lor’themar shouted, already bolting towards the nearest bush for cover. “It can’t get wet!”

“You may think this a victory,” Sylvanas barked towards Jaina, “but look around you! You’re only playing right into my hands! Spray that water around so recklessly and you’ll be cleaning up this mess for weeks to come!” Sure enough, any toilet paper that had been caught in the crossfire was already turning to nasty, wet clumps, sticking firmly to every surface it touched. “This is no victory! You have won NOTHING!” Sylvanas shouted, before retreating back into the night. Jaina watched in exasperation as Nathanos and Lor’themar chased after her, finally lowering the hose once they were all gone.

“I suppose we’ll have quite a bit of cleaning to do now, won’t we?” she sighed.

“It would seem that way,” Anduin replied. “Though I do have to wonder why she’s so obsessed with getting your attention in the first place. If I didn’t know any better-”

“Don’t bring that up,” Jaina groaned, raising a finger to silence Anduin.

“Fair enough,” he chuckled. “Forget I said anything.”


End file.
